03 October 2023

What to Do When the Unexpected Happens

1Frameworks

9Insights

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Frameworks in this episode

Mindset4 steps

The Four-Part Unexpected Setback Framework

Process business setbacks in four moves instead of stuffing the feeling down

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster0:06:21

The self-blame questions you can't actually answer

After the setback Star interrogated herself with questions like what could you have done differently and why couldn't you see this six months ago. She points out these are unanswerable by design and produce no lesson, only punishment. The replacement is a single kind acknowledgement: if it had been expected, you would have prepared for it.

"Why didn't you see this coming?" has no usable answer
Hindsight interrogation is punishment disguised as analysis
If it had been foreseeable, you would already have prepared
Swap the interrogation for finding the lesson

“if it was expected, you would have prepared for it.”
Jasmine Star · 0:06:21

#self-compassion#hindsight#mindset

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take0:05:21

Success is the best revenge — and she owns that it's petty

Star admits upfront that the third step of her framework is petty and slightly embarrassing to teach, then keeps it anyway. The mechanism is channelling anger at doubters into quiet work rather than argument. The payoff is that the eventual results do the talking.

She names the pettiness rather than dressing it up
Anger becomes fuel only when redirected into work
Stay quiet while working; let the outcome answer
Keep going while others rest or vacation

“My results will silence their doubts.”
Jasmine Star · 0:06:21

#motivation#doubters#work-ethic

Explainer· 1

Explainer0:01:06

Why weekly "mindset moments" exist inside a paid community

Jasmine Star explains the format this episode was pulled from: a short weekly session she hosts inside the private Social Curator community, separate from group coaching, guest speakers and live classes. Mindset moments deliberately avoid marketing tactics and focus on the psychology of running a business. She uses them as a way to document her own learning in real time and bring members along with it.

Mindset moments run weekly, alongside monthly group coaching and guest sessions
They cover the mindset of ownership, not marketing strategy
Format is deliberately short and repeatable so lessons compound
Occasionally a private session is released publicly on the podcast

“So these mindset moments are really nothing to have to do with like actual marketing strategy.”
Jasmine Star · 0:01:06

#community#coaching#mindset#membership

Story· 1

Story0:02:09

The journal entry that predicted a brutal year

Star keeps a 365-day journal that surfaces the same date's entry a year later. On this reading she found her husband and business partner's warning that things would get much worse before improving. She had refused to accept it at the time, and a year on concluded he had been right about all of it.

A 365-day journal creates an automatic annual replay of your own state
The warning came from her husband and business partner
She recorded her disagreement at the time, which made the later review honest
The framework in this episode was reverse-engineered from that year

“It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.”
Jasmine Star · 0:02:09

#journaling#reflection#partnership#resilience

Tool· 1

Tool0:09:40

Time-box the pity party: 24 hours, then buck up

Star gives explicit permission to be angry and throw yourself a pity party, on one condition — put an end time on it. Twenty-four hours, twenty-four days, whatever the size of the blow warrants. Her reasoning is blunt: if you sit under the cloud indefinitely, the only person it affects is you.

Set an explicit duration before you start grieving the setback
The permission is real, the open-ended version is not
An unlimited slump only damages you
Exit condition is naming the lesson

“I'm going to be angry for 24 hours.”
Jasmine Star · 0:09:40

#emotional-regulation#recovery#discipline

Takeaway· 4

Takeaway0:02:09

Unexpected things will expectedly happen

Rather than treating shocks as anomalies, Star frames them as a guaranteed feature of both life and business. The implication is that the useful preparation is a processing routine, not an avoidance plan. This reframe is what makes a repeatable framework worth having at all.

Setbacks are structural, not exceptional
Prepare a response, not a prevention strategy
Embracing this removes the shock of being shocked

“unexpected things will expectedly happen.”
Jasmine Star · 0:02:09

#resilience#expectations#entrepreneurship

Takeaway0:04:24

The only question that matters at your lowest point

When the situation is too big to solve, Star collapses it into a single answerable question: am I willing to try one more day toward the bigger picture? She pairs it with the certainty that stopping today guarantees you never arrive, while getting back up leaves the possibility open. It is a deliberately small commitment designed to be renewable daily.

Shrink an unsolvable situation to a one-day decision
Stopping is the only guaranteed outcome
Anchor the question to a specific vision, not vague optimism

“Am I willing to try one more day to get to the bigger picture at the end of this”
Jasmine Star · 0:04:24

“If I stop today, I'm not getting there guaranteed.”
Jasmine Star · 0:07:31

#persistence#vision#decision-making

Takeaway0:08:36

Rebound time is the real measure of growth

Star says that early in her career it took months — not days — to recover from a setback. She now treats the shrinking gap between blow and recovery as the clearest evidence of growth as both a person and an entrepreneur. It reframes maturity as speed of recovery rather than absence of setbacks.

Early career recovery took months, not days
Track how fast you rebound, not how rarely you fall
Practising the framework is what compresses the window

“My rebound time is getting shorter and shorter and shorter.”
Jasmine Star · 0:08:36

#resilience#growth#self-awareness

Takeaway0:10:36

It's okay to rest, it's not okay to quit

Star closes by drawing the line between resting and quitting, and insisting the choice to get back up belongs only to you. She ties it to having a clearly defined vision — without one, the distinction blurs. The final note is that no one facing an unexpected setback is alone in it.

Rest and stillness are permitted; quitting is not
The decision to get back up is nobody else's
A clearly defined vision is what makes the distinction hold

“It's okay to rest and it's okay to sit, but it is not okay to quit.”
Jasmine Star · 0:10:36

#persistence#vision#encouragement