04 April 2023

Why hasn’t it happened yet? How to Stop Comparison in Its Tracks

1Frameworks

7Insights

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Frameworks in this episode

Mindset5 steps

Decide, Trust, and Give Thanks

Stop comparison by choosing to stop, trusting your path, and practicing gratitude.

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster01:20

Why Social Media Is an Invalid Measure of Someone's Life

Social posts reveal only a minute fraction of the work, circumstances, and trade-offs behind another person's results. Comparing a complete life or business to that fragment creates a fundamentally distorted benchmark.

Online visibility does not reveal the full process behind a result.
Consistent posting can still leave nearly every important detail hidden.
A partial public image cannot fairly measure a complete private life.

“But one thing I wanna be very clear, the terrible thing about this trap is that we have no idea how they got there or…”
Jasmine Star · 01:43

“And yet we want to hold our a hundred percent lives to somebody else's 0.0001.”
Jasmine Star · 02:21

#social media#comparison#perception

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take07:32

Celebrating Someone Else's Win Can Help You Reach Your Own

Celebrating a result you want, rather than resenting its recipient, helps your mind search for possible routes to that result. It can also cultivate relationships with people who will sincerely celebrate you when your opportunity arrives.

Envy narrows attention around perceived unfairness.
Celebration redirects attention toward possibility and learning.
Supporting other people can build a mutually encouraging community.

“It is hard to celebrate somebody getting something you so desperately want and work hard for that is a higher calling.”
Jasmine Star · 07:38

“But the minute we do that, the minute we celebrate the thing we want that somebody else has, it opens our brain for pathways for…”
Jasmine Star · 07:47

#celebration#envy#community#success

Explainer· 2

Explainer02:30

The Finished Cake Reveals Nothing About How It Was Made

Jasmine uses a decorated cake to illustrate why two apparently simultaneous starts do not make the resulting outcomes comparable. The cake might reflect years of training, a shortcut, a purchase, a gift, or outright fabrication.

Identical-looking starting points may conceal different preparation.
A finished result does not disclose the method used to produce it.
Public outcomes may be purchased, assisted, or fake.
Visible success alone cannot establish that someone else progressed faster.

“You have no idea how that cake ended up in my hands.”
Jasmine Star · 03:54

“Or for all intents and purposes, since we're talking on social media, maybe that cake is fake.”
Jasmine Star · 04:31

#mental models#hidden advantages#social media

Explainer10:51

You Cannot Win the Game of Business

Business has no stable winning condition because measures such as money, employees, profit, and followers continue changing. Jasmine draws on Simon Sinek's infinite-game idea to argue that entrepreneurs should learn to play well instead of waiting for a final victory.

No single business metric permanently defines the winner.
Future achievements continually surpass old records.
A circular, continuing game has no final endpoint.
Enjoying participation is more sustainable than obsessing over victory.

“And at the end of the day, you cannot win the game of business.”
Jasmine Star · 11:32

“You could play it really well because the game is circular.”
Jasmine Star · 11:44

#business#infinite game#success metrics#entrepreneurship

Story· 2

Story08:19

The 5:30 A.M. Question That Exposed an Endless Chase

Alone in an early yoga class, Jasmine questioned what years of work, financial planning, contracts, and ambition were ultimately for. She realized that her younger self would already consider her successful, yet comparison could still make the present feel insufficient.

Achievement does not automatically end comparison.
Present success can exceed every earlier dream and still feel inadequate.
Remembering the perspective of your younger self can reveal overlooked progress.
The question “When is enough enough?” exposes a moving definition of success.

“And I think to myself, when is enough enough? When will I get out of the comparison trap?”
Jasmine Star · 09:54

“And the minute I stopped comparing myself, I opened up time, I opened up energy, I started receiving things.”
Jasmine Star · 10:06

#success#enoughness#entrepreneurship#reflection

Story14:10

Her Father's Taco-Stand Dream Reframed Entrepreneurship as Legacy

Jasmine describes her immigrant father's lifelong dream of opening a taco stand and the multiple jobs he worked so his children would have choices he lacked. His sacrifices frame her ability to build a business not merely as personal achievement, but as an inherited opportunity and responsibility.

Jasmine's father dreamed of opening a taco stand in Los Angeles.
He sometimes worked four or five jobs at once.
His sacrifices gave his children greater professional freedom.
Entrepreneurship can represent progress built across generations.

“My father took four, sometimes five jobs at one time, so that he gave me the luxury of building upon his shoulders and upon his…”
Jasmine Star · 14:57

“So let us not forget the people who have gone before us that have given us this luxury to do what it is we do.”
Jasmine Star · 15:09

#legacy#immigration#family#entrepreneurship

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway05:28

Your Goal Timeline May Be Completely Invented

People often assign a three-month or one-year deadline to a goal without knowing whether it is normal or achievable. A useful estimate requires research and adjustment for responsibilities such as parenting, study, caretaking, employment, and commuting.

Question where your expected timeline came from.
Research the average time required for a comparable goal.
Adjust averages for your available time and responsibilities.
Do not treat a missed arbitrary deadline as proof of failure.

“But then my question that I really wanna have with you, let's just have a little bit of real talk, is where did you get…”
Jasmine Star · 06:08

“Is your timeline normal? Have you researched your timeline?”
Jasmine Star · 06:15

#timelines#goal setting#constraints#planning