Connection, Trust, and Belonging Triad
Build influence by strengthening connection, trust, and shared belonging
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 96%
The model treats influence as the combined result of three relationship conditions: connection, trust, and belonging. Connection determines whether communication and cooperation are possible at all. Trust determines whether another person will seriously consider your perspective, recommendation, or request. Belonging adds the emotional force of shared identity, history, interests, or group membership. To apply the model, begin with the outcome you want, identify the people who can affect it, and assess which of the three conditions is weak in each relationship. Then design interactions that create access, demonstrate benevolent intent, and reveal meaningful common ground. The output is not merely a larger contact list, but a network whose members are willing to listen, collaborate, introduce one another, and act.
Origin
Extracted from The Jasmine Star Show, where behavioral scientist Jon Levy explained the relationship factors underlying influence in business and community life.
Core principles
- 01Influence requires access to a real relationship.
- 02Trust makes people willing to consider advice or opportunities.
- 03Shared identity and experiences strengthen belonging.
- 04Most ambitious goals depend on relationships more than physical resources.
How to run it
- 1
Define the relational outcome
Specify the outcome that depends on other people, such as raising capital, hiring talent, selling a product, or changing local policy.
Pro tip Describe the desired human action, not merely the business metric.
Watch out Do not assume money, reach, or status is the only constraint.
- 2
Map the necessary connections
Identify the people, communities, and intermediaries who can contribute to the outcome. Note where a warm path already exists.
Pro tip Look for trusted connectors who can move a relationship from cold to warm.
Watch out A large list of irrelevant contacts is not a useful network.
- 3
Establish genuine contact
Create a relevant reason to interact rather than demanding attention. Lead with interest in the person, their work, or a shared concern.
Pro tip Ask a thoughtful, easy-to-answer question that respects their expertise.
Watch out Attention-grabbing tactics can create awareness without creating interest.
- 4
Build trust
Make the interaction useful, reliable, and focused on mutual or recipient value. Follow through consistently so the person has evidence that engaging with you is worthwhile.
Pro tip Start with small exchanges before proposing a major commitment.
Watch out Generosity used as a disguised sales tactic can reduce trust.
- 5
Create belonging
Surface meaningful commonalities or create shared experiences that make participants feel part of the same group. Reinforce the shared identity through recurring contact.
Pro tip Activities requiring cooperation often create stronger belonging than passive attendance.
Watch out Do not manufacture superficial similarities or exclude people merely to create status.
- 6
Connect the network
Introduce members who can help one another so the network becomes a community rather than a collection of relationships dependent on you.
Pro tip Make specific introductions that explain why both people should connect.
Watch out Trying to personally maintain every relationship creates a bandwidth bottleneck.
In the wild
An entrepreneur who wants to improve local policy identifies officials, organizers, and neighborhood leaders connected to the issue. They ask an official for a recommended book and then request an introduction to one relevant expert. After several useful conversations, they invite a small, carefully chosen group to a community-focused gathering where participants share concerns and help one another.
→ Cold outreach develops into a trusted group capable of coordinating local action.
A salesperson stops trying to generate attention through generic automated messages. Instead, they identify prospects with a shared industry concern, ask relevant questions, provide useful context, and invite a few of them into a recurring peer discussion.
→ Prospects see the salesperson as a trusted connector rather than another source of unsolicited pitches.
Common mistakes
Confusing attention with interest
Attention can result from disruption or embarrassment without making anyone want a relationship. Design an interaction that makes the right person genuinely curious to engage.
Skipping directly to the request
A connection without trust or belonging is usually too weak to support a consequential ask. Diagnose and strengthen the missing condition first.
Keeping every relationship separate
A network that depends entirely on one host is difficult to maintain. Help members form direct relationships so the community gains its own cohesion.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for entrepreneurs, salespeople, community builders, fundraisers, and leaders pursuing relationship-dependent goals.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for purely transactional tasks where an ongoing relationship offers no meaningful benefit.
From the transcript
“It comes down to who you're connected to, how much they trust you, and the sense of belonging that you have.”
“Almost anything that we actually care to accomplish is not limited by traditional resources.”
“It's almost exclusively limited by knowing who to go to and the relationships that you have with them.”
From the episode
The Science of Belonging (And Why It Can Grow Your Business) with Jon Levy
Jon Levy