Excuse-or-Self-Care Decision Rule
Distinguish restorative flexibility from avoidance before changing your plan
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 91%
The Excuse-or-Self-Care Decision Rule evaluates the motive and effect behind changing a planned activity. Skipping a workout after an unusually demanding week, poor sleep, travel, or intense decision-making can create genuine recovery. Skipping because the task feels inconvenient may instead reinforce avoidance. The method asks whether the choice creates a safer space to relax or merely helps someone escape an ordinary responsibility. It then widens the time horizon: predictable energy fluctuations, including changes across a monthly cycle, should inform the calendar before exhaustion arrives. Proactive lighter periods, naps, or additional sleep remove the need to repeatedly push unfinished work forward while building a story of personal inadequacy. The output is not always “rest” or always “continue”; it is a reasoned choice based on recovery needs, avoidance patterns, and anticipated capacity.
Origin
Extracted from The Jasmine Star Show as Tanessa Shears answered whether entrepreneurs should ever skip workouts when sleep or workload demands more recovery.
Core principles
- 01Rest can support performance rather than undermine it.
- 02Self-care creates recovery instead of helping a person escape life.
- 03Avoidance and restoration may produce the same immediate decision but have different motives.
- 04Predictable energy changes should be planned for in advance.
- 05A lighter schedule can prevent guilt-driven backlog cycles.
How to run it
- 1
State the proposed change
Define exactly what you want to skip, shorten, or postpone. Avoid vague conclusions such as abandoning the whole day.
Pro tip Frame the decision narrowly, such as replacing today's workout with additional sleep.
Watch out Broad cancellations can conceal avoidance and create unnecessary disruption.
- 2
Name the motive
Ask whether the impulse comes from a genuine need for recovery or from not feeling like doing something difficult. Consider recent sleep, workload, travel, launches, and high-level decisions.
Pro tip Write the reason in one sentence so it can be examined clearly.
Watch out Fatigue and avoidance can coexist, so do not rely on the first answer automatically.
- 3
Apply the restoration test
Ask whether the alternative creates relaxation and recovery or simply enables escape. Choose the option most likely to improve capacity after the break.
Pro tip Define what restored capacity should look like later that day or the following morning.
Watch out Passive inactivity is not automatically restorative.
- 4
Check predictable energy patterns
Review upcoming high-pressure periods and recurring changes in energy or sleep needs. Identify dates when extra rest or reduced workload is reasonably foreseeable.
Pro tip Review the calendar monthly rather than waiting for exhaustion.
Watch out Do not treat generalized cycle advice as a replacement for individual observation or healthcare.
- 5
Schedule recovery proactively
Create lighter calendar blocks, longer sleep opportunities, or optional nap periods before demanding phases. Protect them as legitimate capacity management.
Pro tip Reduce commitments before deciding which essential commitments must move.
Watch out Unprotected rest time can quickly be refilled with work.
- 6
Review without self-judgment
After the rest period, assess whether it improved energy, focus, or willingness to resume the plan. Use the result to improve future decisions instead of building a story that you are not doing enough.
Pro tip Track the outcome, not whether the decision matched a rigid rule.
Watch out Repeatedly calling avoidance self-care prevents honest adjustment.
In the wild
An entrepreneur planned an early workout after a launch week filled with late nights and high-level decisions. She identifies a genuine sleep deficit, replaces the workout with extra sleep, and retains a short walk later in the day.
→ The altered plan creates recovery without turning one skipped workout into abandonment of the routine.
A client notices that her sleep needs and afternoon energy change during the final weeks of her monthly cycle. She schedules fewer demanding meetings, leaves space for a nap, and avoids stacking deadlines during that period.
→ Proactive capacity planning reduces last-minute cancellations, guilt, and cascading work delays.
Common mistakes
Calling every reluctance self-care
Ordinary resistance does not necessarily indicate a recovery need; sometimes the planned action remains the healthier choice.
Treating all rest as weakness
This creates guilt around legitimate recovery and can reduce future performance by extending exhaustion.
Waiting until capacity collapses
Failing to anticipate predictable energy changes forces reactive cancellations and pushes unfinished work repeatedly down the schedule.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for driven people who alternate between pushing through exhaustion and feeling guilty whenever they rest.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal when illness, injury, pregnancy, or another medical condition makes professional guidance more appropriate than self-assessment.
From the transcript
“For me, I think what we have to get good at distinguishing is the difference between excuses and self-care.”
“if it is a way of not escaping your life, but creating like a safer space to just relax in there, that is always, I…”
“create a space where that conversation doesn't have to happen by taking care of yourself ahead of time.”
From the episode
How to Double Your Energy and Focus with Tanessa Shears
Tanessa Shears