Live in the Question
Use outcome-oriented questions to keep possibilities open until answers emerge.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 96%
Living in the Question is a disciplined way to direct attention toward desired outcomes without forcing an immediate answer. Start by replacing blame-oriented questions with prompts about what must be learned, created, or changed. When “I don’t know” arises, separate uncertainty from the conclusion that the goal is impossible. Keep the question active rather than accepting the first plausible answer, because a quick answer can prematurely exclude alternatives. Repeated exposure allows conscious observation, conversation, research, and subconscious processing to generate possibilities. Those possibilities are captured and tested through action. The method combines openness with execution: the question remains broad enough to invite insight, while experiments determine which emerging answers work.
Origin
Extracted from The Jasmine Star Show, where James Wedmore connects Jim Kwik’s phrase “questions are the answer” with Richard Bandler’s teaching about the quality of questions.
Core principles
- 01Question quality influences the range of answers available.
- 02Outcome-oriented questions direct attention toward creation rather than blame.
- 03Premature answers close alternatives.
- 04Not knowing can be held without concluding that action is impossible.
How to run it
- 1
Define the Outcome
State what you want to create rather than only describing what is wrong. Make the outcome specific enough to guide attention.
Pro tip Use a measurable or observable destination when possible.
Watch out A question cannot be outcome-oriented if the desired outcome remains hidden.
- 2
Form a Generative Question
Ask what would need to happen, what you are missing, or how the outcome could be achieved. Remove wording that assumes blame, permanence, or helplessness.
Pro tip Begin with “What would it look like…” or “How might I…”
Watch out Questions such as “Why does this always happen to me?” reinforce the problem context.
- 3
Allow Not Knowing
When no answer appears, say that you do not know and that this is acceptable. Do not convert uncertainty into evidence that the outcome is impossible.
Pro tip Write “I don’t know yet” to preserve movement and possibility.
Watch out Filling the silence with the first familiar limitation ends the inquiry.
- 4
Keep the Question Active
Revisit the question over several days and expose it to new information, conversations, and perspectives. Record answers without immediately committing to one.
Pro tip Place the question somewhere you will encounter it daily.
Watch out Living in the question is not passive waiting; continue gathering relevant evidence.
- 5
Test Emerging Answers
Select a promising possibility and design a small action that can produce feedback. Let results refine both the answer and the question.
Pro tip Prefer reversible experiments when uncertainty is high.
Watch out Endless questioning without testing becomes procrastination.
In the wild
Instead of asking why a desired opportunity had not appeared, an entrepreneur could ask what they would need to do, accomplish, and create for a host such as Jasmine Star to invite them onto her podcast. Keeping that question active could reveal steps involving expertise, audience relevance, relationships, proof, and a distinctive story.
→ An external wish becomes a field of controllable actions and testable possibilities.
Common mistakes
Asking Problem-Reinforcing Questions
Questions centered on blame or permanence direct attention toward evidence of helplessness rather than possible action.
Stopping at the First Answer
The first answer may be familiar rather than effective and can unnecessarily exclude better alternatives.
Questioning Without Experimenting
Open inquiry produces value only when emerging possibilities are eventually tested against reality.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for strategic, creative, and growth problems where several solutions may exist but no answer is immediately obvious.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for emergencies where an established procedure requires immediate execution rather than open-ended exploration.
From the transcript
“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask.”
“It's a matter of living in the question.”
“I don't know. And that's okay.”
From the episode
From Broke Bartender to 10 Million Dollar CEO: A Conversation with James Wedmore
James Wedmore