Novel, Generous, Curated Gathering Method
Turn a favorite activity into a relationship-building gathering
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 7
- Confidence
- 98%
This method designs gatherings around four interacting qualities: novelty, generosity, curation, and participant effort. Novelty creates interest and places people in a more memorable state. Generosity ensures that attendees receive meaningful value rather than feeling recruited into a transaction. Curation surrounds them with a small set of people worth knowing, while effort invokes the Ikea effect: contributing, applying, cooking, hiking, reading, or helping makes participants care more about the experience and one another. The host begins with an activity they already enjoy, creates an original format, invites a deliberately selected group, and gives everyone a role in producing the experience. Recurring follow-up events then turn an isolated gathering into a community whose members develop relationships independently of the host.
Origin
Jon Levy developed the approach through hundreds of Influencers dinners in which selected guests cook together, avoid discussing their professions initially, and later join recurring community events.
Core principles
- 01Novel experiences attract interest and become more memorable.
- 02Generosity lowers defenses when value genuinely favors participants.
- 03Curation gives people access to peers they rarely meet.
- 04Invested effort increases attachment to people and experiences.
- 05Small recurring gatherings can outperform expensive business events.
How to run it
- 1
Start with an activity you love
Choose something you would enjoy even if it produced no business outcome, such as reading, hiking, cooking, games, art, or exercise.
Pro tip A genuine personal interest makes the gathering easier to sustain.
Watch out Do not choose an activity solely because it appears prestigious.
- 2
Create a novel format
Make the experience meaningfully different from familiar conferences, dinners, or networking events. Use constraints, rituals, or an unusual sequence to stimulate curiosity.
Pro tip Change how participants interact, not merely the venue or decoration.
Watch out Copying a famous format produces a weaker version of something people already know.
- 3
Curate the group
Select a small mix of participants who are interesting to one another and can contribute different experiences or perspectives.
Pro tip Curate for mutual relevance and diversity rather than status alone.
Watch out A room full of impressive people can still fail if they have no reason to engage.
- 4
Lead with generosity
Design the gathering so participants leave with more insight, connection, or enjoyment than expected. Keep the primary focus on their benefit rather than the host's transaction.
Pro tip Useful introductions and memorable shared experiences can be more valuable than gifts.
Watch out Do not use apparent generosity as bait for an undisclosed pitch.
- 5
Require constructive effort
Ask attendees to contribute in a small but meaningful way, such as applying, cooking, bringing something, reading, playing, or solving a task together.
Pro tip Use effort that supports interaction and belongs naturally in the activity.
Watch out Effort should create investment, not needless friction or humiliation.
- 6
Facilitate shared interaction
Structure the event so guests cooperate and learn about one another as people. Reduce status cues that encourage rehearsed professional introductions.
Pro tip Shared tasks give strangers a natural reason to talk.
Watch out Passive presentations rarely create the same relational depth.
- 7
Build recurring community
Create follow-up programs or repeat gatherings that reconnect participants and allow their relationships to deepen.
Pro tip Vary the activity while preserving the community's recognizable values.
Watch out A one-time event may be memorable without producing durable relationships.
In the wild
A host invites five thoughtful people to read the same book together for an hour over tea, then discuss its ideas and possible applications for another hour. Participants who already finished the book can join the discussion portion. The unusual combination of quiet reading and practical conversation creates novelty without requiring an expensive venue.
→ A solitary interest becomes a repeatable setting for thoughtful professional and personal connection.
An art-world organizer offers a fully funded dinner at one table and invites applications from anyone who loves art, regardless of age or professional status. A small, diverse group is selected, and the brief application creates participant investment before the event.
→ The event forms a cohesive, diverse gathering whose attendees value both the access and the effort required to join.
A founder asks experts for small recommendations and introductions, builds an invitation list, and invites five respondents on a hike. The group discusses the industry while completing a physical activity together, creating shared effort without an expensive dinner.
→ Several warm contacts develop direct relationships through a memorable shared experience.
Common mistakes
Trying to buy affection
Expensive tickets, meals, or bottle service may secure attendance without creating care. Shared effort and useful interaction are more effective foundations for relationships.
Copying someone else's format
A replica lacks the novelty that made the original memorable and may not fit the host's strengths. Build around an activity and design that are natural to you.
Curating only for fame
Status does not guarantee mutual interest, humility, or contribution. Choose people who can genuinely engage with and help one another.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for people who want to build a trusted community around an industry, interest, mission, or local cause.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for hosts seeking immediate sales, large anonymous audiences, or prestige through exclusivity alone.
From the transcript
“And it's called the Ikea effect. And it's that we care about our Ikea furniture because we had to invest effort into it.”
“The other characteristics are generosity.”
“The third characteristic is curation.”
From the episode
The Science of Belonging (And Why It Can Grow Your Business) with Jon Levy
Jon Levy