Person on the Airplane Rule
Set a human privacy boundary before sharing vulnerable stories online.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 99%
The rule creates a practical threshold for deciding which personal details belong on social media. Before publishing a vulnerable story, imagine that a stranger seated beside you on an airplane asked about the subject. Share online only what you would comfortably tell that person in a normal conversation. The test permits meaningful context—such as saying that a parent had cancer or that a child was adopted—without requiring private medical details, family decisions, locations, or another person's history. It also distinguishes useful vulnerability from indiscriminate disclosure. Once the boundary is set, treat it as a creative constraint: find a way to communicate the insight, emotion, or lesson without exposing information that is unnecessary or not yours to reveal.
Origin
Jasmine Star developed the rule to explain how she discusses difficult family experiences and adoption while preserving private details and her daughter's ownership of her story.
Core principles
- 01Vulnerability does not require total disclosure.
- 02A familiar social boundary can guide online sharing.
- 03Other people's private stories are not yours to publish.
- 04Constraints can improve creative storytelling.
How to run it
- 1
Name the useful truth
Identify the part of the experience that genuinely supports the story or lesson. Separate that truth from details included only for emotional intensity.
- 2
Apply the airplane test
Imagine explaining the experience to a stranger sitting beside you on a flight. Remove anything you would not naturally disclose in that setting.
- 3
Protect other people's stories
Remove identifying, medical, relational, or historical details that belong to family members or other participants. Share your experience without appropriating theirs.
- 4
Create within the boundary
Use the remaining facts to tell a clear and emotionally honest story. Let the privacy limit force more thoughtful framing.
In the wild
A parent says publicly that she adopted her daughter because that is information she would share with an airplane seatmate. She omits the circumstances, people, and events that led to the adoption because those details belong to her daughter.
→ The parent communicates an important part of her life while preserving the child's narrative ownership.
Common mistakes
Confusing vulnerability with full access
An audience can connect with an honest story without receiving every sensitive detail.
Publishing someone else's history
Family members and children retain ownership of facts that are primarily their stories to tell.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for personal brands that use life stories but do not want to disclose every intimate detail.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal as a substitute for professional safeguarding, legal review, or trauma support when severe risks are involved.
From the transcript
“I call it the person on the airplane rule.”
“I will share something on social media if somebody who sitting next to me on an airplane had asked me.”
“that's her story to tell.”
From the episode
The Fastest Way to Build a Personal Brand People Trust