Stranger on the Airplane Rule
Set social-sharing boundaries by testing what you would tell a stranger
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 98%
The Stranger on the Airplane Rule converts an abstract question—how personal is too personal—into a familiar social situation. For any proposed post, imagine sitting beside an unknown person on a flight and decide whether you would comfortably discuss that topic with them. If so, the subject falls inside your provisional social-media boundary; if not, keep it private. The rule accommodates different personalities because it does not prescribe universal topics. One person may readily discuss a spouse, pet, career, or hobby, while another may exclude children, vacations, or views inside the home. After applying the comfort test, add a second filter: determine whether the content is relevant to the audience and observe how followers respond.
Origin
Jasmine Star developed the rule after blogging about her marriage, her mother's cancer relapse, and her business journey while other photographers questioned why she shared personal material.
Core principles
- 01Personal boundaries differ from person to person
- 02Comfort should precede public disclosure
- 03A useful personal detail does not require total transparency
- 04Audience response provides a second filter after personal comfort
How to run it
- 1
Choose a proposed topic
Identify the personal detail, story, image, or experience you are considering sharing.
Pro tip Evaluate one topic at a time rather than declaring your entire life public or private.
- 2
Imagine the airplane conversation
Picture an unknown person sitting beside you and ask whether you would naturally discuss the topic with them.
Pro tip Use your honest reaction, not what another creator appears willing to share.
Watch out Public posts can travel farther and persist longer than an actual airplane conversation.
- 3
Draw the boundary
Keep comfortable topics available for content and exclude anything that creates meaningful unease or exposes another person's privacy.
Watch out Your comfort does not override a child's, partner's, customer's, or employee's right to privacy.
- 4
Check audience alignment
Ask whether the topic helps, entertains, reassures, or connects with the specific audience your business serves.
Pro tip Connect personal details to a relevant idea rather than posting them without context.
- 5
Publish and observe
Share the approved topic and assess qualitative responses and engagement while preserving your boundary.
Pro tip Expand gradually only when both comfort and audience response remain positive.
Watch out Do not disclose more merely because an intimate post receives high engagement.
In the wild
A consultant decides she would happily tell an airplane seatmate about her dog, coffee habit, and weekend hiking, but not her children's routines or upcoming vacations. She uses the first three themes to humanize business posts and excludes the latter subjects.
→ Her content becomes more relatable without crossing her privacy boundary.
Common mistakes
Copying another creator's boundary
The rule depends on your own comfort and circumstances, not the disclosure habits of someone with a different audience or risk profile.
Ignoring audience relevance
Passing the comfort test does not automatically make a personal detail useful to the people following the business.
Using engagement to override privacy
Strong reactions should not pressure you into sharing information that you would otherwise protect.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for people who want a relatable online presence but need a simple privacy filter before posting.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for confidential, regulated, security-sensitive, or child-related information that requires stricter safeguards than conversational comfort.
From the transcript
“I have a simple rule for you to determine where your line is drawn and I call this the stranger on the airplane roll.”
“This is when you ask yourself what you would share with a stranger sitting next to you on an airplane that that's what you should…”
“It is our job to determine what we're comfortable with sharing on social media, but more importantly, it's to also gauge how your audience is…”
From the episode
Getting TOO Personal on Social Media: How Much is Too Much?