Working With Me Document
Frontload your working preferences to accelerate every relationship
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 95%
A Working With Me document converts accumulated lessons about collaboration into a concise operating manual for new relationships. The author reviews past moments of frustration and identifies the hidden preference, expectation, communication convention, or performance standard behind each one. Those lessons are organized into sections covering leadership style, communication channels, information presentation, decision-making, availability, feedback, and expected conduct. The document is shared at the beginning of a working relationship so both parties have a baseline before misunderstandings develop. It remains a living artifact: when a recurring issue reveals another implicit assumption, the leader clarifies and appends it. Its power comes from frontloading context, not enforcing personal rigidity; collaborators should be able to discuss conflicts and necessary accommodations.
Origin
Dan Martell calls his document “working with Dan.” He built it over years by recording best practices derived from frustrating interactions with team members, contractors, vendors, agencies, and partners.
Core principles
- 01Recurring frustration often reveals an unstated expectation
- 02Expectations work better when communicated before conflict
- 03A shared baseline accelerates trust and correction
- 04The document should evolve through real working experiences
- 05Explicit preferences reduce avoidable communication overhead
How to run it
- 1
Inventory recurring friction
List past collaboration problems that consumed time, caused confusion, or produced disappointing work.
Pro tip Focus on patterns rather than isolated personality conflicts.
Watch out Do not use the document to publicly criticize former collaborators.
- 2
Extract the expectation
For each issue, identify what another person would have needed to know in advance to work effectively with you.
Pro tip Rewrite complaints as clear, observable preferences.
Watch out Avoid vague requirements such as “use common sense.”
- 3
Organize the guidance
Group expectations under topics such as leadership, communication, meetings, decisions, information presentation, feedback, and performance.
Pro tip Include examples of strong communication where useful.
Watch out An excessively long document may not be read or retained.
- 4
Share it early
Provide the document during onboarding or before a substantial engagement begins, then discuss questions.
Pro tip Ask the other person to share their own preferences too.
Watch out Sending a document is not proof that mutual understanding exists.
- 5
Correct against the baseline
When friction arises, refer to the shared expectation and clarify how future interactions should work.
Pro tip Treat early corrections as coaching rather than punishment.
Watch out Do not use the document to dismiss legitimate disagreement.
- 6
Keep it current
Append or revise guidance when new experiences reveal recurring assumptions or outdated practices.
Pro tip Review the document on a regular schedule and remove obsolete material.
Watch out Do not let contradictory additions accumulate.
In the wild
Before an agency starts a campaign, a founder shares a five-page document explaining preferred update frequency, decision thresholds, meeting preparation, escalation rules, and how recommendations should be presented. The kickoff meeting resolves questions and records exceptions.
→ The agency reaches a productive communication rhythm without months of avoidable corrections.
Common mistakes
Writing only rigid demands
A useful operating manual explains how to collaborate; it should not become an excuse for controlling or disrespectful behavior.
Sharing without discussion
Collaborators may interpret the same sentence differently, so the document needs conversation and questions.
Never updating it
A static document eventually preserves old preferences and misses lessons from newer relationships.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for leaders who regularly onboard employees, contractors, agencies, vendors, or business partners.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal when used as a rigid list of unilateral demands that leaves no room for accessibility, feedback, or mutual adaptation.
From the transcript
“The standards document for me, I call it working with Dan and it's this document over the years that I've kept appending to”
“what if I could frontload every new relationship with kind of like the best practices to working with that's.”
“It is the most powerful document for me to go from zero to having an incredible working relationship with any person”
From the episode
How to Push Past Your Revenue Ceiling with Dan Martell
Dan Martell