The Written Alignment Conversation
Turn relationship tension into a clear agreement you can revisit.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 97%
The Written Alignment Conversation converts an emotionally loaded relationship issue into a structured negotiation. First, define what daily work should look like for you and the affected team rather than reacting only to the latest frustration. Next, use the communication mode that lets you process clearly; Driscoll writes, so she prepared a letter. The message identifies the current challenge, proposes a mutually successful future state, and asks whether the other parties agree. A live conversation then surfaces disagreement and establishes middle ground. The resulting agreement becomes a durable reference point, allowing either side to address repeated behavior by returning to a shared decision instead of reopening the entire conflict.
Origin
Brittany Driscoll used this process when her relationship with Drybar's founders changed from employee and bosses to business partners while she led Squeeze day to day.
Core principles
- 01Clarify the future working relationship before discussing isolated incidents.
- 02Use the communication mode that helps you think clearly.
- 03Describe both the current challenge and the desired outcome.
- 04Seek explicit agreement rather than assuming alignment.
- 05Preserve the agreement as a reference for future accountability.
How to run it
- 1
Design the Future State
Describe how you want the relationship and daily work to function several months or years from now. Include what your team needs to operate effectively.
Pro tip Focus on observable working practices rather than personality judgments.
Watch out Do not begin with a list of grievances before knowing what you want instead.
- 2
Choose Your Processing Mode
Identify whether writing, audio, video, or another format helps you express nuanced thoughts most clearly.
Pro tip Use a format that lets you revise emotional language before sharing it.
Watch out Do not use asynchronous communication to avoid the eventual live conversation.
- 3
Outline Challenge and Success
State what is currently difficult, explain its effects, and describe what success could look like for everyone involved.
Pro tip Frame the proposal around mutual success and team effectiveness.
Watch out A complaint without a proposed direction can leave the other party defensive or confused.
- 4
Discuss and Find Middle Ground
Talk through the document, invite disagreement, and negotiate specific changes both sides can support.
Pro tip Ask directly whether the other party agrees with your definition of success.
Watch out Do not mistake silence or politeness for agreement.
- 5
Create a Reusable Agreement
Distill the conversation into clear working norms and preserve them for future reference.
Pro tip Use the agreement to make later reminders neutral and specific.
Watch out The process fails if either party repeatedly ignores the agreement without consequence.
In the wild
After moving from working for Michael and Alli at Drybar to leading Squeeze as their partner, Driscoll found that strong opinions from people outside the day-to-day operation could unsettle the operating team. She wrote a letter explaining the challenge, her desired working model, and what success could look like for both sides, then discussed it with them.
→ They established a healthier partnership model that could be referenced when old working patterns resurfaced.
A small agency founder could document where client, staffing, and pricing decisions currently stall, describe the decision rights each partner should hold, and invite the partner to revise the proposal during a live conversation.
→ The partners gain explicit operating boundaries and a shared reference for later disagreements.
Common mistakes
Starting Without a Desired Outcome
Naming everything that feels wrong without defining a better working state turns the exchange into venting rather than alignment.
Treating the Letter as the Conversation
The written document prepares and structures the discussion; it does not replace negotiation and mutual agreement.
Failing to Revisit the Agreement
If nobody refers back to the decision when old habits return, the alignment work loses its practical value.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for partners or colleagues whose roles, authority, or day-to-day involvement are changing.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal where there is no willingness to discuss concerns honestly or honor agreements afterward.
From the transcript
“I actually wrote a letter. I literally outlined my thoughts on here's what I'm finding challenging. And here's, you know what I think success could…”
“And then I just had a conversation and we went back and forth a little bit and then got to a really great place.”
“I could circle back to it and say, hey, remember, remember we talked about just this key difference and how we're working together.”
From the episode
How to Build an Irresistible Brand with Brittany Driscoll
Brittany Driscoll