12 August 2025

How I Built 8-Figure Relationships on Instagram

1Frameworks

11Insights

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Frameworks in this episode

Influence6 steps

Follow, Study, Engage, Invite

Turn a cold Instagram discovery into a real relationship with a four-step warming sequence

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster0:09:40

A growth advisor is not a business coach

Star initially mistook Jessica Marx for a business coach. Marx describes herself as a growth advisor who acts as the chairman of your board before you have a board of advisors. Her mandate is preparing the business for sale or acquisition — even for owners with no intention of selling — because a sellable business is one that runs without the founder in the weeds.

Growth advisor operates like a pre-board chairman
Prepares the business for sale or acquisition regardless of intent
Test of readiness: take a 3-4 week vacation and stay profitable
Sellability is a proxy for operational independence

“you want to build your business so that it's sellable, so that it's not dependent entirely on you, so that you are not in the…”
Jasmine Star · 0:09:40

#advisory#exit-readiness#operations#founder-dependency

Hot Take· 2

Hot Take0:07:19

Mutual research is the fastest trust signal there is

Two minutes into the Zoom, Makani said she had already done her research. Star reads that as the key signal: both parties had invested effort before the call, which collapsed the usual credibility-building phase. The call went from pleasantries to "what's the best way I can support you?" almost immediately.

Only 1-2 minutes of pleasantries before substance
Both parties arrived having researched the other
The offer to help came from the other side, unprompted
Research is legible — people can tell when you've done it

“She's like, yes, I've done my research. I know a lot about you.”
Jasmine Star · 0:07:19

“I had done research on her. She had done research on me.”
Jasmine Star · 0:07:19

#trust#preparation#networking

Hot Take0:13:17

"When they win, I win" is a strategy, not a slogan

Star closes on the belief that underwrites the whole approach: abundance, connectivity, and the assumption that a stronger network makes everyone in it stronger. She frames the entire episode as receipts — showing what she is doing in real time rather than teaching from memory. Both Makani and Marx are booked for future episodes.

Abundance and connectivity as the operating assumption
The goal is win-wins across networks, not extraction
Star shares work in progress, not retrospectives
Both new relationships convert into future podcast episodes

“when they win, I win. And when I win, they win.”
Jasmine Star · 0:13:17

#mindset#abundance#networking

Explainer· 2

Explainer0:01:57

Pick your network by the four skills you're short on

Star's holding company outright owns businesses, invests, and takes advisory equity, which exposed specific gaps. She named the capabilities she needed — acquiring, selling, financing and scaling businesses — and used those as the filter for who to follow. Following people with those skill sets then trained the Instagram algorithm to serve up more of them.

Holding company model: own, invest, or advise for equity
Named gaps: acquiring, selling, financing, scaling businesses
Follow by skill gap, not by follower count
The Explore algorithm compounds the choice once you start

“the order of importance would be acquiring businesses, selling businesses and financing businesses.”
Jasmine Star · 0:01:57

“So I began following and researching people who have skill sets that I desire, experiences that I desire.”
Jasmine Star · 0:01:57

#networking#holding-company#instagram#skill-gaps

Explainer0:06:31

Walk into a first Zoom with four goals, not a pitch

Star describes the slow-burn approach to moving a relationship off social. Her four objectives for the Makani call were: get to know her personally, assess who in her network she could serve, build Makani's trust in her, and set up a long-term invite to speak at the mastermind. The long-term ask was a January 2026 slot roughly nine months out.

Goal 1: know the person, not the business card
Goal 2: identify network members she could genuinely help
Goal 3: build their trust in you
Goal 4: seed a long-horizon invite
Star deliberately prefers a slow burn to a fast close

“So my goal on zoom, remember, I like that slow burn. I like to build trust along the way.”
Jasmine Star · 0:06:31

#relationship-building#networking#trust

Story· 2

Story0:05:40

The exact DM exchange that opened an 8-figure relationship

Star reads the full Instagram DM thread with Shay Makani, who connects global beauty and wellness brands with capital and investors. The opener asks to connect and learn, never to sell. Within a handful of messages they had identified synergy — Star hosts a mastermind for seven-figure female founders, Makani serves founders raising or exiting — and moved to email and Zoom.

Opener: pleasure to meet you, I'd love to connect and learn more about your work
Makani replied with what she does and offered in-person or Zoom
Star named her position (entrepreneur, investor, advisor) and the mastermind
Synergy was explicit before any meeting was booked

“I'd love to connect and learn more about you and the work that you do with entrepreneurs.”
Jasmine Star · 0:05:40

“Now she connects global beauty and wellness brands with capital and investors.”
Jasmine Star · 0:03:52

#dm-outreach#instagram#cold-outreach#scripts

Story0:08:06

One talk flipped a member from bootstrapping to taking investors

Makani spoke for 45 minutes at Star's mastermind followed by 20 minutes of Q&A. A member building a SaaS platform had already decided to bootstrap and had turned away interested investors. After the session she reversed the decision on the spot and started calling back the people she had previously declined.

45-minute presentation plus 20 minutes of Q&A
Member had already turned away inbound investors
She reversed the decision before leaving the event
Speed of decision was the notable part, not just the change

“I'm going to get investors, and I'm starting to build this thing out.”
Jasmine Star · 0:08:49

#fundraising#saas#mastermind#bootstrapping

Q&A· 1

Q&A0:12:27

The questions behind why founders stall at $1-2M

Over lunch, Star pressed Marx on the patterns that keep founders stuck. The questions covered what blocks founders from raising capital and selling, why so many stay in the weeds, which systems are missing, and why some female founders shy away from SOPs and KPIs. The $1-2M plateau was the specific stall point they dug into.

What stops founders raising capital or selling?
Why do founders stay in the weeds instead of systematising?
Why do SOPs and KPIs create resistance for some female founders?
The $1-2M range is where the plateau shows up

“Why do you see a lot of founders get stuck in that 1 to $2 million range and have a very hard time moving through?”
Jasmine Star · 0:12:27

#scaling#systems#female-founders#plateau

Takeaway· 3

Takeaway0:00:00

Why Jasmine dropped pure theory in favour of receipts

After five years of teaching principles and frameworks on the podcast, listener feedback told Star that the stories were what actually landed. She decided to keep the frameworks but wrap them in real, in-progress examples from her own business. This episode is the format change in action.

Five years of principle-led episodes; feedback said story was the connector
New format: principle, then framework, then a real story
Examples are drawn from deals happening in real time, not old case studies

“I don't want to talk about theory.”
Jasmine Star · 0:00:00

“What's really resonating is that story. Story is the thing that's been connecting the dots.”
Jasmine Star · 0:00:55

#content-strategy#storytelling#podcasting

Takeaway0:08:49

The real win isn't the talk — it's who gets the call in three years

Star reframes what actually made the Makani invitation valuable. The visible win was empowering a founder to raise capital. The durable win is that when that founder eventually sells or gets acquired, she will call Makani — the person whose advice changed her trajectory. That is how a single introduction produces compounding business for everyone in the loop.

Surface win: a founder gets unstuck and raises
Durable win: the speaker earns the future transaction
Host wins by being the connector both parties credit
Design introductions for the three-year outcome, not the applause

“The real win is that if and when this woman gets ready to sell her business or get acquired, she's going to be calling Shay.”
Jasmine Star · 0:08:49

#networking#compounding#referrals#win-win

Takeaway0:11:21

Make the introduction the DM, not the ask

Star's breakthrough with Jessica Marx came from a client need, not from a networking motive. A founder she was consulting with needed a specific industry audit that matched Marx's service exactly, so Star used the DM to offer the introduction. Voice memos followed, then lunch in San Clemente, then a podcast invitation.

The DM delivered value rather than requesting it
Matched a real client need to the target's exact service
Voice memos moved the thread from text to relationship
The in-person meeting followed naturally from the give

“And so I went to Instagram DM and I asked Jessica, can I make an intro?”
Jasmine Star · 0:11:21

#introductions#dm-outreach#giving-value