Follow, Study, Engage, Invite
Turn a cold Instagram discovery into a real relationship with a four-step warming sequence
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 92%
The mechanism is deliberate sequencing: four ordered steps that each raise the probability the next one lands. FOLLOW is discovery plus intent — you decide which skill sets you want to be around (acquiring, selling, financing businesses), follow people who have them, and let the algorithm compound the surface area. STUDY is depth: read the feed, then consume every podcast and long-form appearance until you can state their worldview and what they find valuable. ENGAGE is low-friction, personal contact — replying to stories rather than public comments — deliberately signalling commonalities and offering a skill they lack. INVITE is the ask, made only after months of warmth: a call, a stage, a podcast, an introduction. Because the invite arrives on top of accumulated context, it converts fast; the relationship then produces value in both directions across networks.
Origin
Jasmine Star developed the sequence while building a network for her holding company, needing to learn from operators experienced in acquiring, selling and financing businesses. She used it on Instagram to convert two cold discoveries — Shay Makani and Jessica Marx — into in-person relationships, mastermind stages and podcast bookings.
Core principles
- 01Relationships compound faster than cold pitches — earn context before you ask.
- 02Signal similarity before you signal need.
- 03Study someone's long-form content until you can articulate their worldview.
- 04The invite should feel like the obvious next step, not the opening move.
- 05Abundance is the operating assumption: when they win, you win.
How to run it
- 1
Define the skill sets you need, then follow the people who have them
Name the two to four capabilities you most need to acquire — for Star it was acquiring, selling and financing businesses. Follow people who demonstrably have them and let the platform's discovery surface more of the same.
Pro tip Following adjacent people compounds: the algorithm surfaces the speakers those people tag at events.
Watch out Following on vibes rather than a named skill gap turns this into passive scrolling.
- 2
Study until you can state their point of view
Go through the feed and bio for context, then search their name on podcast platforms and consume every appearance. The bar is being able to articulate how they see the world and what they consider valuable.
Pro tip Their guest podcast appearances reveal more strategy than their own feed does.
Watch out Skimming a feed is not studying — you will produce generic engagement that reads as spam.
- 3
Engage where it is personal, and signal commonality
Reply to stories rather than leaving public comments, referencing something specific — a trip, a family moment, a connection they made, a podcast they were on. Every touch should communicate that you have more similarities than differences.
Pro tip Story replies land in the DM thread, so the eventual outreach is a continuation, not a cold open.
Watch out Flattery without specificity reads as a pitch runway and kills the sequence.
- 4
Offer your skill set before you ask for theirs
Reach out one-to-one framing what you can add — marketing, branding, digital insight, or an introduction to someone who needs exactly what they sell. Give the value that only you can give.
Pro tip An introduction to a qualified buyer is the highest-signal gift you can send in a DM.
Watch out Do not open with a call request; open with the reason a call would be worth their time.
- 5
Take it private with a defined goal
Move from DMs to a call or a meal, and go in knowing what you want: to know them personally, to see who in your network they could serve, to build their trust, and to earn a longer-term invite.
Pro tip Do research before the call and say so — mutual research is the strongest trust signal in the first two minutes.
Watch out A call with no stated goal drifts into pleasantries and never converts.
- 6
Invite them into your rooms and audiences
Once trust exists, extend a concrete invite — speak at your event, come on your podcast, meet your network. The invite creates value for them, for your audience, and for you simultaneously.
Pro tip Have a near-term slot and a long-term slot ready; the near-term one often gets accepted immediately.
Watch out Inviting before the study and engage steps produces a polite no and burns the contact.
In the wild
Star found Shay Makani, who connects global beauty and wellness brands with capital and investors, on the Instagram Explore feed. She followed, read the feed, then consumed hours of Makani's podcast appearances until she understood her worldview. She engaged through story replies for a couple of months before sending a short DM asking to connect and learn more. That led to a Zoom, where Makani had also researched Star. The long-term goal was a January 2026 mastermind slot; instead Makani offered to speak at an event the following month.
→ Makani spoke at Star's mastermind roughly four weeks later — a 45-minute presentation plus 20 minutes of Q&A.
Jessica Marx, a growth advisor who prepares businesses to be sellable, appeared three times in Star's Explore feed in two weeks — surfaced, Star believes, because she followed founders who had tagged Marx at an event. Star ran the same sequence: followed, studied Marx's guest podcast appearances and client base, then engaged. When a founder Star was consulting with needed exactly Marx's service, Star used the DM to offer the introduction rather than to ask for anything.
→ Voice memos, then lunch in San Clemente, then a podcast invitation.
Common mistakes
Jumping straight to the call request
Star explicitly did not open with "we should hop on a call." The DM only worked because months of story engagement had already made them somewhat familiar to each other.
Engaging publicly instead of personally
Comments are noisy and easy to ignore. Story replies are one-to-one, specific, and land in the same thread where the eventual outreach happens.
Treating the relationship as extraction
The sequence is designed so both parties gain — the invited expert wins new business from the audience while the audience gains the expertise. Approaching it as one-way take collapses it.
Is it for you?
Best for
Seven-figure founders and operators who want to build peer relationships with more experienced founders using social platforms.
Not ideal for
Anyone needing a transactional result this week, or people unwilling to consume hours of a stranger's content before reaching out.
From the transcript
“It is four part frameworks. Step number one. Follow step number two study. Step number three engage. And step number four invite. Follow. Study. Engage.…”
“I immediately followed Shay. I went through her feet. I started getting a good context of what it is she did.”
“So what I wanted to do was to signal similar commonalities or strengths.”
From the episode
How I Built 8-Figure Relationships on Instagram