15 June 2023

How to STOP Playing Small and Step into Your Purpose

1Frameworks

4Insights

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Frameworks in this episode

Mindset6 steps

The Stop Playing Small Method

Turn a spoken declaration into a bigger identity by raising the pressure to change

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take0:10:27

Most rooms won't accept you, and you only need one ally

Jasmine pushes back on the idea that you need a whole room to embrace you. She says the vast majority of rooms will not accept you, and that is fine. What changes everything is having a single ally who helps you hold the space, because you no longer do it alone.

The majority of rooms will not accept you, and that is normal
One ally is enough to change how you show up
Not doing it alone is what makes taking up space sustainable

“not every room you walk into will accept you. In fact, the vast majority of them will not.”
Jasmine Star · 0:10:27

#support#community#confidence

Explainer· 1

Explainer0:04:30

People who choose change end up measurably happier

Jasmine references a study showing that people who chose to make a change were significantly happier than those who chose not to. It supports focusing on the desired future rather than the comfort of the familiar, and treating staying small as a choice.

Choosing change correlated with significantly greater happiness in the study
Focus on what you want in the future, not on present comfort
Staying stuck is framed as a choice, not a fixed state

“the people who made the changes. More of them were significantly more happy than the people who chose not to change.”
Jasmine Star · 0:05:33

#change#happiness#mindset

Story· 1

Story0:06:39

Losing her mother forced Susan to ask what she was doing with her life

Susan traces the real start of her change to the recent death of her mother. It made her confront that she was not living the life she wanted and had far more potential than she was using. The grief reframed playing small from a habit into an unacceptable waste of time.

A parent's death can be the trigger event that ends years of playing small
The core realisation: 'this is not the life I want to live'
Untapped potential feels intolerable once mortality is front of mind

“I just lost my mom about six months ago, and it really makes you think. What are you doing with this life?”
Susan · 0:06:39

#grief#motivation#turning-point

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway0:08:41

Playing small leaks into your body and personal life, not just your business

Susan realises mid-call that shrinking is not confined to her pricing or her program. She physically and emotionally plays small in her personal life too. The insight is that taking up space is a whole-person practice, so the barriers have to come down everywhere.

Playing small is physical and emotional, not just a business decision
The pattern shows up across personal life, not only work
Taking down your own barriers is part of the fix

“I play small. I literally physically and emotionally play small, and I need to take down my own barriers and show up”
Susan · 0:09:34

#identity#confidence#self-awareness