Personal Success Definition
Define success by the life you value before pursuing its visible symbols.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 99%
The Personal Success Definition framework begins by separating success from its conventional proxies, such as income, cars, prestigious locations, or visible luxury. You identify the freedoms, relationships, activities, and standard of living that would make life feel successful to you, then define a recognizable threshold for reaching it. Current goals are evaluated against that definition: if pursuing a symbol of success removes you from family, meaningful work, or another core outcome, the strategy is internally contradictory. The model also includes temporal perspective. Looking back at what your earlier self could only imagine helps reveal progress that comparison conceals. Once the chosen definition has genuinely been reached, it can be revised for the next season rather than expanded automatically through an endless rat race.
Origin
Jasmine developed her definition gradually after earning money and acquiring conventional signs of success but discovering that they felt empty when they came at the expense of personal fulfillment.
Core principles
- 01Success is personal rather than universally defined.
- 02Money without fulfillment can produce wealth without success.
- 03A goal is counterproductive when pursuing it destroys the life it was meant to create.
- 04Past progress deserves recognition before the target is redefined.
- 05Success should be revisited as life and priorities change.
How to run it
- 1
Pause the Default Race
Set aside external comparisons long enough to examine what you actually value. Create a short period in which status symbols are not accepted automatically as goals.
Pro tip Five focused minutes is enough to begin.
Watch out Do not copy an influencer's lifestyle and label it self-definition.
- 2
Describe Your Successful Life
Name what you want to do, when you want to do it, and with whom. Include relationships, work, time, and a sufficient standard of living.
Pro tip Describe ordinary days, not only milestone moments.
- 3
Define the Finish Line
Choose conditions that would allow you to recognize and say that you have succeeded, such as replacing a salary or regularly eating dinner with family.
Pro tip Use observable conditions instead of an undefined desire for more.
Watch out A finish line that moves whenever you approach it cannot provide satisfaction.
- 4
Test Current Pursuits
Ask whether each major goal protects or undermines the life in your definition. Remove, revise, or constrain goals whose pursuit defeats their purpose.
Pro tip Pay special attention to time and relationship costs.
Watch out Revenue can increase while personal success decreases.
- 5
Recognize and Redefine
Compare your current life with what your earlier self could imagine, acknowledge what has already been achieved, and redefine success only when the present definition is truly complete or outdated.
Pro tip Schedule periodic reviews instead of changing the definition impulsively.
In the wild
Jasmine initially associated success with earning money and acquiring a house, car, and other accepted markers. She later realized that money obtained at the cost of personally fulfilling work made her rich but did not satisfy her definition of success. She reframed success as the ability to do what she wants, when she wants, and with whom.
→ Her goals became anchored in freedom, meaningful work, and desired lifestyle rather than acquisition alone.
A parent defines success as replacing employment income with a side business while preserving dinner with the family every night. Before accepting more clients, the parent tests whether the added revenue supports that outcome or recreates the schedule they were trying to escape.
→ Business decisions are judged against the intended life rather than revenue alone.
Common mistakes
Borrowing Visible Success
Private jets, cars, and prestigious addresses may be appealing, but they do not automatically represent the life you value.
Ignoring the Cost of Pursuit
A goal can undermine success when reaching it removes the relationships or freedoms that success was supposed to provide.
Never Declaring Success
Without a recognizable threshold, every achievement becomes evidence that the target should move farther away.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for entrepreneurs and ambitious professionals whose goals have become dominated by comparison or external expectations.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal as a replacement for meeting urgent financial obligations or defining measurable execution targets.
From the transcript
“as the ability to do what I want, when I want and with whom?”
“I wasn't a success, I was just rich”
“until you actually take the time to define success for yourself, you're only ever going to be in the rat race and feel really far…”
From the episode
How to Not Choose Fear and Have FUN Building a Business